jerseymom

I want the magic pill! There has to be a magic pill out there that makes us skinny!! Haven’t we been talking about the magic pill for years? Isn’t there some genius that’s come up with it yet?!Seriously I feel like this journey should be so much easier. I want to lose some weight…okay eat less, exercise more. Done. UGH! But it’s so much harder than that. Especially in the evening when the kids are sleeping and the husband makes his gigantic bowl of ice cream topped with chocolate chip cookies.But it’s okay. I’ll get there. Slowly but surely…pound by pound…I just need to have some patience

I need a gym membership. I know, I know, there are a million exercises that you could do at home…no one really ‘needs’ a gym membership but I do. For a million reasons why I really, really need to join the gym. Of course I live in the middle of nowhere and we don’t have any of those fancy chain gyms that offer the really cheap memberships like Bally’s or Lucille Robert’s or any of those other ads I see for like $12 a month. Our gym is a small local gym and crazy expensive. Again I could list a million reasons why but I absolutely cannot afford the gym. Yes, I  know some health insurance will pay for it but we’re on the free state insurance and I’m quite certain they do no. So I need to find a way….a scholarship, a grant…there has to be some organization somewhere that is trying to get our nation healthy. I’m off to start my search and if anyone knows of something please pass it along! (I’m sure I”m not the only one out there who wants to join a gym but can’t afford it)

Thanks!

It’s only been 2 good days for me but I just feel like this may be it. I was sitting here working on my computer yesterday around 4 (my usual super hungry time) and I didn’t get up and run to the kitchen to eat something. I sat here feeling a little hungry but kind of enjoying that hungry feeling. I started to think how the hungry feeling felt compared to the ‘man I’m so freaking stuffed why the heck did I eat all that’ feeling. I liked it.
So this week was insane and I wasn’t home much which makes it extra hard. I did have 2 off days but the rest were pretty decent. The last 2 days have been great for me which is good and I’m really hoping now I can continue it. I started weighing in twice a week. My usual day is Monday but I’ve joined the FAB challenge team and they weigh Saturday so I’ve decided 2 weigh-ins wouldn’t be all bad. It’ll be Saturday to Saturday for the group but my official dorky chart at home will only count Mondays. BUT getting on the scale at the beginning of the weekend and the end should really help keep me on track…I always seem to fall apart on the weekend (which is always odd to me because I am a SAHM and weekends and weekdays are really all the same).Oh so anyway. It’s Sunday. Super humid here. We haven’t had the a/c on yet this summer but today may be the day. Got some housework stuff to do while the husband is around to help with the kids then I think it’s outback to the pool.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

So as I’ve become fatter and fatter over the years I admit that I have 100% let myself go. I mean I try not to wear clothes with stains on them (though I do have 2 very little ones) and while I do enjoy my active wear I do try to put the ‘good’ clothes on for going out. But seriously it’s like let me just grab whatever garbage bag fits on me and that’s what I’ll wear every day until it falls apart. So I’ve been working the last few months on actually dressing more (not just my comfy sweat shorts and tees) and trying to present myself a little better. I am a stay at home mom so I don’t a ‘job’ to get up and get dressed for everyday but I really should be dressing myself just for life. 

Anyway…I’m totally losing my train of thought here. So I was in Old navy trying on some stuff the other day and I found some really cute things. Of course nothing fit the way I wanted it to. I was cruising my favorite rack in the store (the clearance rack….extra 50% off everything in clearance right now for anyone who may be reading this) and I found a shirt that I absolutely fell in love with. It has been years since I picked up an article of clothing and was like wow, I really love this, this is exactly my style. So then I realized that I’ve completely lost my style! I’ve given up on really dressing and nothing I wear really says anything about me except that I’m fat and I’ve given up. 

So I bought the shirt that is a size too small and I hung it up in my bedroom. SO every day I get up and see this wonderful top that I love and can’t wait to wear and hopefully it will start motivating me to not only fit in that shirt but start finding more and more shirts that I love and maybe, just maybe, someday in the near future I will once again have some style!

It was awful. Really…awful. I had WAY too many errands to get done and none were close to home. Then I had to deal with the ‘new’ car and pay 3 Mazda mechanics to spend over an hour figuring out how to put my license plates on so that I could go and sit in like for my inspection. Of course I had my girls with me. They go everywhere. Not very fun for a 1 and 2 year old!So this morning we got up early and drove an hour to a farm for some berry picking. They had so much fun!! I thought after such a long week they needed something a little different sort of as a reward for putting up with so much this week. It was kind of cloudy here and not super hot which turned out to be perfect picking weather. There were maybe 6 people total in the fields so the girls were free to run around and really enjoy themselves. We took a wagon ride to the farm and even saw a mommy horse and her new baby. It was really cute. Best $6 I’ve spent in a long time.So then we had to come back and go to Target and get the baby to the dr. for her appointment and then go grocery shopping and the usual garbage. I am happy to say  that we are done everything and I am looking forward to a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend. And I’m not leaving my house ‘till Monday! 

Food wise I did get off track the last couple day. No new cakes in my house but I definitely went over my ww points. Today I’m doing great…even met all my daily goals except exercise. I am hoping to get up tomorrow and try some more rollerblading. Husband made some new friends and the guys are doing some kind of canoe trip which sounds as random to me as it probably does for anyone reading this. So anyway I have to make sure I’m back before he has to leave for the day. 

So yes, today is good. Have a point left for my jello 60 calorie back dark chocolate pudding and I’m all set. You know, I just realized it’s Friday and the group I was trying to join weighs in tomorrow. Perhaps I should go check if I’m in J…

Okay, not completely but we’ve gone from like 400 channels with OnDemand to channels 2-28 with nothing else. Our cable was some crazy $80 a month and our package was technically a basic one. Gosh I hate Comcast. After much arguing over the different information I got from phone customer service and the information given to me in the office I decided to just forget it and drop down to the $12 basic package. I will miss my ExerciseTV but we walked to the library last night and I found some great workout dvds and borrowed them so I’m sure I’ll be fine. I was hoping to cancel them altogether and just watch the over air channels (like abc, cbs, etc.) but it turns out there’s not many available in our area and the equipment I’d have to buy was adding up to the $400 range which is quite and investment to ’save money’. So I put some blocks on the cell phone which will save us a good $15 a month and then we’ll just pay the $12 cable so it’ll help.The girls don’t understand yet but it’s okay. They don’t need to watch as much TV as they do. Skylar was able to pick some movies at the library and she’s very excited about them. The man in the truck is coming today to disconnect us so it’ll probably be tomorrow by the time they realize.Other than that I had a pretty good day yesterday. Finally stuck to my points for the day and even walked the girls in their wagon to the library and back. I think that’ll be our new Monday night routine because our library in town is open until 9pm on Mondays and it was a pretty nice time. Today is a ton of errands and some Dr. appointments but tomorrow is sweet nothing. Hopefully another good day is in my future! (and everyone’s for that matter!!)

Perhaps that will help me focus a little. And actually a high but totally attainable goal would be to see 199.8 on the scale next Monday. So that’s it… to lose 4.4 lbs this week. It’ll be tough but if I stick to my points every day and do my exercise I can totally do it.

Of course I just realized as I’m taking down our cable boxes that I won’t have OnDemand anymore. ExerciseTV was a big workout for me. Perhaps I’ll see if the library has any biggest loser dvds. Oh just one more adjustment to my new life with significantly reduced cable

Well, actually 2. One left over pizza pie and 1 fresh apple pie. Of course we broke into the apple pie last night after a very rough family gathering so now not only is there pie but it’s partially eaten…the whole ‘if I pick here no one will notice’ theory comes into play. I won’t do it though. I can’t.

So today’s weigh in sucked. After such a hard night last night I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised this morning. But I wasn’t. Gained as I expected to. Of course, if you eat an entire Boston cream pie I guess that’s bound to do something to you. Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments on my cake comment. I just don’t know what my problem is. Perhaps I need some kind of psychological counseling to figure out why I’m still fat. If only I had the time or money

So Monday. Oh Monday. Weighed in and gained 1.4. Actually not too bad considering the last 2 days. Overall sucky. My point total with my challenge group is just embarrassing. Thankfully I don’t have the girls scheduled for much this week so we should be able to relax and I can kind of regroup and refocus myself. I really need to do this. I know how much losing weight would benefit everyone in my life tremendously. I just really, really need to accomplish this

Yup…a whole cake. Okay, well my husband did have 1/4 of it and it was on the small side but there’s no excuses here…I ate a cake. Not just a cake…a Boston Cream Cake. Thick chocolate fudge icing and creamy pudding middle.

What the heck is my problem?!!?! Like I’m not fat enough I have to eat a cake? After we ordered pizza for dinner. Hello…do you not want to lose weight?!

A little too distraught to write more now. Just glad that today is a new day (and it turns out a new week for my challange group). Looking forward to a fresh start and moving forward to my goal. Of course tomorrow is weigh day and I’m sure having that cake in my belly will not help. Just got to make today a good one and see what happens tomorrow

time seems to fly by and i’m still stuck on the same place. i feel like i’ve been stuck at the same damn number on the scale for years. my big challange this week was bathing suit shopping. as if it wasn’t hard enough all the stores were completely sold out so i had a choice of like 3 suits from 50 stores. i purchased one but i’m still not sure…i definately don’t love it. but the suit i’ve been wearing is totally worn out and really shouldn’t be worn anymore.

so i’ve been awful this week. yesterday i finally had a good day and what do i do? eat ice cream and 2 giant bowls of cereal. hoping to do much better today. i have tons of other household stuff to do so we’ll see what wins. on top of it it is the weekend, my husband is actually home and it’s looking like a lovely beach day. perhaps i’ll put the new tent…i mean bathing suit…on and go enjoy some sun